Monday, September 14, 2009

In God's Hands

This past Sunday was Mahlia's baby dedication. Her father stood up there with me and we dedicated her together, but I held Mahlia in my arms and she held on to me. It was bittersweet. I had never imagined that we would be dedicating our child only as mother and father, and not as husband and wife. His parents were there, which made it even more difficult for me since they have always treated me as a daughter.

I've cried a couple of times since Sunday, grieving the loss of a husband and a best friend. I can't make him want something that he doesn't nor can I make him remorseful for his actions when he's not. There is nothing else that I can do or say that will open his eyes to be able to see past this moment. It is truly in God's hands. I can only move forward, hoping that acceptance is right around the corner.

"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go."
- Author Unknown

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