Sunday, January 31, 2010

Coup de grâce

I was willing to do whatever it took to keep our family together. I forgave the unforgivable. I believed, when you gave me no hope. I even carried part of the burden of this betrayal, although I had remained faithful and committed.

Yet we are here now because, rather than making this betrayal a part of our past, you have chosen to just live in it instead. You have determined that this is no longer the life you want. You have decided that the chance of me, you, and Mahlia being happy as a family is not worth the battle. And that is more than unfortunate. It is devastatingly sad. To allow someone to come into your life and tear our family apart is a tragedy beyond words. Stop blaming me for what you have done. See yourself for who you are, as I now see you...

It is heartbreaking that I now look back at the 11 years we spent together with the belief that your love for me was never real. I walk away cognizant of the fact that I never meant anything to you. I walk away knowing that I was so easily disposable to the man I had entrusted my life to. I leave this relationship with the discernment that I had given you all of love, my devotion, my compassion, my forgiveness, my future..only to receive this heartache in return.

I truly hope that the happiness you have found with her has been worth the agony you have made your wife and daughter endure. But you and I both know, it will never be.

I loved you more than you know...*m*

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